“It’s not because you’re getting a divorce that the articles you wrote or the things you said aren’t relevant anymore. They were true at the time. Someone at that point would need those. It doesn’t mean what you say now is a lie.”
We were both walking through the quiet distraught of a divorce. It’s not a street you want to be on alone — at least not all the time.
Some things, alas, can only be learned on your own.
It was refreshing to listen to someone whose context was similar. I could let my guard down. I could…
Thank you so much for the perspective, Mafor.
Your take reminds me a lot of something that Naval Ravikant once said about how two unrelated statements can seem related simply due to the illusion of closeness.
If A leads to B, and B leads to C, does this mean A leads to C?
This can often be very misleading and I can see how my sentences could lead to that line of thought. Let’s break them down.
You will never change the world around you if you don’t master yourself.
By itself, the idea is simply that you can impact…
We are too proud of our flaws as humans and not enough of our strengths.
We list our weaknesses with zest. What we need to work on. We get shy about what we are good at, what we can do.
We’re okay with excusing ourselves because we are human instead of empowering ourselves because we are human.
Oh, I have a sweet tooth. Oh, I have to work this job. That’s what everyone does? I am responsible for this. I can’t change. That’s how I am. That’s how we do things. That’s the way I see things. That’s the way…
No matter how much I try to pack in it, I come undone. I may still start work on time, I may even do the dishes I had planned to or cook, but the lingering thought that I never fulfilled the promise I made to myself permeates ever so silently in my conscious.
To say it’s a slippery slope would be a lie. It’s a cliff. I drop, and by the time I get back up, it’s a week or a month. Tired and bruised, I creep up to the edge, a weary sense of success. Only to realize I…
It’s the third week, and you feel like 2020 never left. The journal you wrote your goals on is stuck somewhere between your unfinished novel and the incomplete Business Plan.
I can’t blame you. Even if you started planning for this in December as I did, the weight of all those resolutions could come crashing if you put yourself under this kind of chronic pressure.
But today’s different. Today, you’re aware that you need to make some changes. That what you’re doing isn’t going to help you get further.
Just that thought alone is often what you need—the awareness.
My fingers sweat across the keyboard and my barefoot angles on the floor. I don’t know why I did this — or why I’m doing it.
I don’t know what the point is.
I write this on a live session on YouTube; no one is watching. My brain tells me no one cares. That I’m not a good enough writer to be doing “writing live” sessions.
This reminds me of the girl in college who said I didn’t have charisma. She was quiet and calm. We dated for a week, and then she said she couldn’t continue.
You’ve probably come across that quote. I didn’t even know the original author until today. I may forget again tomorrow. That’s one of my weaknesses; I forget things.
In a way, my brain decides what is essential and leaves out the rest. I have a hard time memorizing things, and my default answer is almost always “I don’t know?”
Alexa…where’s my phone?
The quote, though, is worth reiterating.
“If you only read the books that everyone else is reading, you can only think what everyone else is thinking.” — Haruki Murakami.
We can expand this to general advice. Suppose you…
Don’t expect anything from anyone.
You have hope, aspirations, dreams, desires, wishes.
You have family and friends who show up. You have people who stand up for you — people you can count on.
But don’t expect anything: we’re not entitled to anything.
Anything we get is a plus. Anything we get is a gift: time, opportunity, money, forgiveness, permission, etc.
I can’t control the world around me by wishing things were different. By hoping you’d understand what I meant when my words affected you negatively. Praying you’ll forgive me as soon as I say “I’m sorry”.
It’s my fault…
Let me know if this happens to you as often as it does to me:
You prepare the night before; write down your tasks; go through a solid night routine. You read fiction to sleep and have a solid 8 hours.
Once the alarm rings, there’s this subtle moment when you, honestly, without a doubt, don’t want to wake up. You want to stay here.
Then the fog clears. Always. Once you remember why you did what you did, it always clears. But it will be back tomorrow.
The past two months, I’ve spent stuck in that fog. Personal reasons…
“By the way, my name is Kamga,” I said.
“Oh, hey, my name is Anselm,” he said, turning to look at me.
My body moved with hand-stretched. Car keys dropping into his pocket, he moved the ruler to his left hand, and stretched his right.
He returned to his car, pulling his keys to open his door. Then turned around.
“That’s really nice what you did, man. I’ve been living here for a while, and you’re the first neighbor whose name I know. Thank you.”
I’m the guy at the party who comes in thinking everyone is looking…
Cameroonian writer and video creator. Featured in LEVEL and P.S. I Love You. I write about building relationships and personal transformation.