Image for post
Image for post
Photo by KAL VISUALS on Unsplash

How To Find Your Happiness

How do plants grow?

How are birds made in eggs?

How does life come to be?

It’s a series of many moments, many forces, all working as one, each in its own time.

How does the heart beat? How does your brain remember?

It’s easy to think about the past (in our minds) and imagine all that was good or all that was bad.

We imagine this series of moments as one long stretch — an illusion.

We also imagine a future, a tomorrow where things are so much different — so much better than now. Even though tomorrow never comes.

What we’ve always had — what we will always have — is the present. Everything else is an illusion of the mind.

An illusion that can cost you the precious present. One that will drive you mad, as you compare the uncertain past with the untrue future.

When you realize that right now, this very moment, you can choose to enjoy every little bit of the process, the past doesn’t matter. Neither does the future.

All that matters is what you choose to do now.

In this way, every decision is within your heart to make. Every action and choice is up to you to accept or reject.

For the things beyond you, you can decide if it’s worth your pursuit and what that would require — right now.

For the pain and emotions, you can watch them go away or use them to build the life you want — right now.

All decisions happen in the present. The past is only a recollection — an unreliable narration.

The future is a projection whose core is not only uncertain but based on forces we aren’t in control.

The same force that made us breathe life.

When you decide to do today, what you thought you could only do ‘later’, you’re doing what you should.

Happiness, for example, won’t happen later. Because it’s a decision for now.

Forgiveness. Love. Compassion. Care. Being human.

All these, for ourselves and for others, don’t need the future.

They only need decisions.

Right. Now.

And when you keep focusing on what you can do now, you see there’s no such thing as failure. Because each step leads to the next.

Like the seedling, the root, the stem, the first leave.

When a leave falls, does the tree feel like a failure?

When an egg cracks, does the hen cry with sadness at the end of the fully formed chick or does she coo tenderly at what was beneath?

The mother flooded with pain and hormones, does she curse at the human fully formed and crying in her arms?

How then can you believe any decision made fully cognizant of the present can be a failure?

We are all on a journey. But that journey has no end. This is why placing any such signposts is sure to bring more pain than success.

No amount of physical power, money, fame will remove the loss of the soul’s mission. And that mission is to be present.

With ourselves, with others, and in the world full of nature’s force.

Yes, this is really long. And this may not be what you need when you feel like you’re losing in life.

But take it from someone who was in your shoes :

You are responsible for your happiness.

When Victor Frankl says: Life is suffering. And those who enjoy life simply find meaning in it.

I understand him.

I understand that most things in life are painful and can be heartbreaking.

But what you must do, in the present, is find meaning.

Your meaning.

Something that drives you each day. Something you’re willing to die for. Something more than your own self.

We all die. If we think too hard, there might even be no point in living.

But if we think past that, we’re all living for each other. We’re all setting the way for the next generation. Ad infinitum.

We are here, not for ourselves, but for each other.

Find meaning in the suffering you have and you’ll find happiness in it all.

Written by

Cameroonian writer and video creator. Featured in LEVEL and P.S. I Love You. I write about building relationships and personal transformation.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store