Is Being in a Good Relationship Better Than Being Happily Single?

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Photo by Kelly Searle on Unsplash

Would you rather eat a delicious meal cooked by the world’s best chef or enjoy the clarity that comes with intermittent fasting?

The issue at stake is what anyone would define as “good” or “happy”. For you, a good relationship might mean a long-distance relationship or one without children, or an open relationship.

To answer this question, you must know what you are seeking for in a relationship and usually, this only comes with being in a relationship and discovering either:

a) You don’t want one
b) Aren’t ready for one or
c) [Insert a long list of things to discover by experience alone]

Then, when we move to happy as in “happily single”, the same relativity comes into play.

Have you ever been single for a long enough time to appreciate whether you really like being alone?

Or…do you just want to benefit from a relationship ( companionship, sex, support of all kinds), without the work that comes with it?

I think many people who are single and happy, tend to miss being in a relationship. Others, in relationships, tend to miss being single. For each of these groups, it’s a form of the curse of knowledge — knowing the benefits of each and wishing you could do away with the disadvantages of the other.

So, for a question like this, “is being in a good relationship better than being happily single?” my answer would be:


I hope you’ve cocked your head to the side by now.

Yes, one is better than the other — depending on how much you know about yourself. Yes, you have to define what is good for you, and what makes you happy. Yes, you need to realize that a relationship requires commitment.

You need to accept what it takes to be single, and what it takes to be in a relationship.

Being in one and acting like the other is how pain spreads in the world.

In the end, one isn’t better than the other. It just boils to what you want and what you’re willing to do to achieve the best possible outcome for you and the people you care about.

Being single is a good time to be comfortable with yourself.

Being in a relationship is a good time to learn how to not be the center of attention all the time and realize that love is not enough because commitment is what keeps people together long after the fire of hormones has faded.

For each state, there is a lesson to learn, and when people don’t learn the lesson to move to the next level, they fluctuate between one and the other — forever in pain, forever wondering:

Would it be better if….?

Written by

Cameroonian writer and video creator. Featured in LEVEL and P.S. I Love You. I write about building relationships and personal transformation.

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