Some times, and a lot more so now, I hide my personal victories because my sense of confidence and worth grows when I know what I am capable of, and I know that no one else, but for me, knows this.
It’s a refreshing exercise I have started getting into holding on to projects I’m working on until I’m ready to ship. Working, for weeks, months even, and not telling anyone.
Only my wife sees how early I wake and how late I lay, but even she has no idea what exactly I’m working on.
(Yes, she has the big picture, but the small things I am most proud of, go unnoticed by her).
And that’s intentional. I noticed that when I didn’t get the feedback I thought I deserved, I’d start doubting myself.
I hated that need for validation I had developed. It sent me watching stats and refreshing my feed to see if anyone had commented. I knew it wasn’t healthy. I knew I had to find a way out.
When I came across a video posting this idea of doing something and not telling anyone, a lot that I had been thinking about clicked: I started small.
I ‘ll write today, but I won’t publish. I’ll make a collage of pictures but I won’t share. I’ll make a playlist for myself.
Little by little, I noticed that I spent more time doing, than waiting.
Now, I can feel the tug between sharing what I have done, or what I am doing, and keeping it until it’s ready.
I love how it makes me feel. I feel more patient, more grateful. And mostly, more proud of myself. I’m learning all these things I actually care about and planning to use them when I want to use them.
I feel really empowered with each step I take because I feel a lot more in control of my actions.
To me, no amount of validation can beat that.