At some point, after you’ve tried to save everyone and everything, after you’ve screamed in forewarning, after your ‘I told you so’ gets stale even in your own throat, you may come to the realization that your ability to control the world around you is quite limited.
If you’re self-aware enough, you’ll realize that the mistakes you’re trying to stop them from making are the same ones you did: the girls they shouldn’t date. The boys you know will send them raining. The spiral towards depression. The lost job. The fight with Mum. 450.
You’ve been there. You’ve done it. So, you spend all day every day trying to prevent history from repeating itself.
But you’re wrong.
It may be your history, but it’s their future. By now, you know — painfully so — that no matter who had said what when you set your eyes on her, you’d still have dated her. In fact, if you hadn’t seen the kind of person you became in that relationship, you wouldn’t be on your high horse now, spewing ‘what an old man sees on Instagram’ bullshit.
It’s because of it. It’s because you were sucker punched when she broke up. It’s because you dated her for selfish reasons and couldn’t keep up with the requirements of your new status. It’s because you didn’t have the courage to stand up for yourself.
It’s because you made your own mistakes.
So, take care of your own. Provide ideas. Advice. Suggest. Have a conversation, not a lecture. Listen.
Listen. Listen. Listen.
Be a friend. Watch them fail. Let them learn. Be the rope — pull them out and let them go. They have a history to write.
You have your own future to deal with too.
Hi. My name is Tchassa Kamga and I’m a writer. I’m 27, and I live in Buea, Cameroon. I’ve made many inconsistent choices in my life and I’ve decided to take a break to listen to my own self.