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Photo by Artem Bali on Unsplash

What will you die for?

Because you’re going to.

If you’re reading this, you may have thought about your death at some point. Or, if you’re as scared as I am and worried about ‘negative’ thoughts, you may have wondered about the death of someone you care about deeply — sibling, relative, friend.

I want to think that death got a bad rep the moment we understood that she could take anyone, anywhere, with or without warning.

I also want to think that those who have lived full lives welcome her gladly.
I also know what it means to be gone too soon.

But how much, really, do we know about the Universe to decide how early or soon one’s journey was cut short?

‘You’re gonna to die’ — Gary Vee

The iconic co-founder of Apple Computers, in his 2008 commencement speech, made some remarkable comments about life, career, and other very important aspects of humanity. I watched it so many times, I can almost hear his ‘Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish’ echo in my head.

When he died in 2011, I dug interviews, speeches, books, biographies.

I wanted to make my own opinion of the legend.

Some say he was an asshole. I believed them.

Others say he had a family, he couldn’t be that terrible. I believed them too.

A majority agreed on the impact of his vision, the way he’d altered technology, design, music, and how his life affected a whole generation and even more. I obliged.

Steve Jobs was many things. And he’s dead too. He left many with lessons and questions.

I wonder if he planned to live and die the way he did.

I wonder if he knew what he was doing.

I wonder if was ready to give everything — including his life — for the things he spoke about: the things he believed in.

I think about my death often. Like Ryan Holiday’s coin says: ‘Memento Mori’.

‘Remember that you will die’.

I ask myself what I’m doing and how important it is to me that I do it. Where am I heading?

If I were to stop, now, and not be able to live, will I be okay?

Will I be happy?

Then I listen. Some call it meditation, others call it prayer.

I call it listening 🤔

I think there’s more to the human spirit than we let it show us. We’re always in the way of our divinity: distractions, noise, life.

We’re so focused on not dying that we forget to live.

I’ve not exactly ‘heard’ anything. No white light of pure energy and visions of my destiny.

I’m not that cool…yet 😅

By practicing, I’ve gotten better at listening to my gut and instincts.

I noticed that, when it comes to spirits and the divine, human language is handicapped.

Feelings are more adequate — very binary too: I label the feelings as ‘good’ and ‘not good’.

When they’re thoughts: ‘useful’ and ‘not useful’

(I once read this is a form of mindfulness).

This doesn’t stop me from feeling sad when bad things happen. It doesn’t stop me from being angry, or upset or making bad decisions.

Being aware of my limitations doesn’t make me less human.

Being aware of my death doesn’t make me live less.

I focus on how I feel, and what I feel is important — to me.

I call people I miss; I say ‘I love you’ more; I think before I agree to any responsibilities; I fight for what I believe with all my life; I’m fully present during conversations, and, most importantly, I don’t try to control life.

I let life happen.

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Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

I observe. I listen. I wait. I flow.

I don’t know what I would die for. It doesn’t matter because I will still die.

Between now and then, I’ll just have to listen — and flow.

Written by

Cameroonian writer and video creator. Featured in LEVEL and P.S. I Love You. I write about building relationships and personal transformation.

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